The Other Jenkins
by Brooke Warner
Summary: Book: Howl's Moving Castle. Howl has a brother who comes to the castle for a visit. Jealousy, spells, quests and friendly meddling ensue...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this and it's all for fun and silliness.

Howl opened the door slowly, carefully. He jumped back from the great puff of blue smoke gusting out from the closet, and stumbled even further away as a very familiar, very disgruntled character emerged. Sophie was livid, her hair had fallen out of its neat bun into a red and blue curly tangle.

"What do you think you think you were doing, Howl, locking me into a closet like that! I thought you had finally come to terms with the fact that I will remain your cleaning lady no matter if you release me from the Which of the waste's spell or not! But no," Sophie huffed angrily, "you have to lock me up in a closet, conduct _tests_ to see if there is any residue of the spell or-"

"Sophie!" Howl shouted, she glowered but remained silent, "I was making sure that the witch hadn't cursed you in a way that could have done serious damage, you silly woman!" Her face heated.

"But couldn't you have told me this before-"

"It would have set off what I was trying to protect you from." Howl interrupted, only increasing Sophie's agitation with a feeling of increasing resentment of her behaviour and Howl's smug attitude.

"But that still does not give you the right to-" There was a loud, and somehow cheerful knock on the door. Sophie, even angrier at the fact she was not allowed to finish a single sentence with out being interrupted, opened the door and shouted at the grinning face. "WHA—"

In the doorway stood a familiar looking man, striking in his strange clothing and bright grin. He jumped slightly at her outburst, and then stared intensely at her surprised face, his smile now small and quiet. He was younger than Howl by a few years with dirty blonde hair that stuck up at odd ends atop a handsome face. Howl coughed irritably.

The man looked away from Sophie for a hasty moment. "Hi!" He beamed, taking a short glance at Howl, "I'm-"

"He's my brother." Howl growled as the man nodded.

"Too true, Howl, but I see you have failed to introduce me with the name of your lovely company…?" He raised his eyebrow questioningly, Howl choked.

Sophie smiled shyly, "I'm Sophie who _usually_," she shot a glare at Howl, "cleans up around here." Howl's brother chuckled.

"Darren Jenkins, at your service." He gave a sweeping bow in jeans and a brown jacket. Darren raised his head from the princely bow, embarrassed to see Howl's raised eyebrows and Sophie's bemused smile. Darren cleared his throat, "Sorry, I don't really know the customs in this place, this is my first trip."

"Really?" Sophie enquired, "Hasn't Howl ever shown you around?"

"Nope, he's too busy being my over-achieving older brother, saving damsels in distress at every corner." Sophie laughed.

"I guess you don't know Howl's reputation around here then." Darren's smile broadened.

"Oh yes, I believe I do. He was quite proud when he was talking about the 'stealing of the souls' one, then when he destroyed a witch terrorizing the country while saving an exquisite lady from being a ninety year old woman." Howl was signalling and coughing furiously at Darren behind Sophie; Howl's bother was preoccupied staring at her, "Where does someone come up with turning a perfectly sweet girl into an old woman?"

Sophie felt her anger boil within her again, "Really! Is that what he said? You do realize it was him _and _I who killed that witch." Darren's blue eyes widened, and then laughed.

"Ah, I should have figured that you were the 'ravishing' young lady he described." Sophie's mood changed once again, blushing furiously; Howl scowled, utterly embarrassed.

Sophie gave a sidelong glance at Howl, turning back to Darren "Well, I think we should invite our guest in…even if the house covered in blue."

"You do realize the blue dust means I was right and I just saved your life!" Howl said belatedly.

Darren and Sophie laughed knowingly. Sophie walked forward, holding the door open and trying to step to the side. Unfortunately, Darren's jacket had caught on the door and jerked him towards the door handle, causing a great deal of force to crash him straight into Sophie, landing in a heap on the floor. Howl gave a snort.

"Sorry, I'm a little disoriented from being locked in a—" She looked up to see his boyish face inches from hers. As Darren stared fixedly down at her, Sophie couldn't remember what she was saying. Howl coughed, again. Darren and Sophie jumped, and then turned scrambled to their feet.

"What's the matter, brother," quipped in Darren, "coming down with a cold?" She giggled, watched Howl's severe face, and almost fell into Darren, stepping away from him guiltily. She took a shaky breath, turning completely to Darren in an attempt to block out Howl's baleful face.

"Oh! Look at your jacket!"

Darren lifted his arm, and Howl, Sophie and Darren looked to the door. Wedged in one of the hinges was a long strip of brown material. Howl snorted. Sophie came closer to the hinge, back to either brother as she took a hold of the material and tried to pull it out. Sophie sighed when it did not budge.

"Now, that was a rude thing to do, taking off with a piece of your master's brother's coat? If you loosed yourself a little you might just be able to redeem yourself to this handsome gentleman and get some new oil in the meantime."

Darren could not believe what he saw as the hinges seemed to separate and the door move a little from the wall as Sophie easily removed the long strip of brown from the door. She smiled and turned to Darren.

"I'm terribly sorry about your coat. I can sew it up right here if you like."

"Really? That would be very helpful."

"I can give you a tour while we're at it!"

"GO, then!" Howl shouted, shooing Sophie and Darren out of the room in a matter of seconds.

"AARRGH!" Howl messed his hair heatedly, flopping down on to the couch, and began rubbing his eyes. His hair remained in its upward disarray.

"Woman trouble?" said the amused voice of Calcifer, buzzing about the room like a fireball. Howl looked up at him abruptly.

"No, just my charming brother coming in and trampling in on my stuff." He mumbled.

"The only thing I saw him almost trample on was Sophie, and no offence chum, but she isn't yours."

"That's not what I'm talking about- did you see how she tilted her head in that _adoring_ way, telling her about our talks-"

"You really said that about her?" Calcifer hissed excitedly, "You softy, I thought Darren was just flirting…"

"Why did she do that, looked up at him like he was a god or something and what was Darren _doing?!"_ Howl deflated, "Where was that shy little boy from Wales?"

Calcifer cackled, "You're really taking this too seriously. He looks up to you, and he just had to see your _ravishing_ damsel." He gave another snigger, "Although, I have to wonder what Sophie is giving Darren a tour of." Calcifer added absentmindedly.

"Shut up, Calcifer; I can't believe they'd do this. Sophie and Darren… No! Are you here just to annoy me, Calcifer, or remind me how much my perfect brother is better than me?"

Calcifer snorted, "I do my best."


	2. Chapter 2

Darren Jenkins waited patiently outside of Sophie's room. She had said she didn't want to get any of the blue dust on his jacket. When Sophie exited her small room she smelled and looked much better.

"I'd like to do this in the hat shop if that's all right."

"Of course!" Darren replied instantly, "What's so special about the hat shop?"

Sophie paused. "Well, it's not a hat shop anymore. Howl and I have a shop at the Market Chipping. We sell flowers there now, but there's still a number of materials left over we can use for sewing this up."

"I see." Darren and Sophie walked down a few stairs, the colours were more vibrant in this portion of the castle.

"What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a mechanic."

Sophie frowned as they entered a small yellow room. "A what?"

Darren grinned, "I work with transportation devices to make sure that they run properly."

"Like a ferrier?" Sophie settled into a high-backed chair behind a long table, Darren sat beside her as she gathered her materials.

"No. In Wales we don't use horses, but machines that run on oil and other things from the earth."

Sophie looked up from her needle, eyes wide. "I thought magic was not in Howl's world as it is in mine."

Darren laughed, "No! Mechanics is not magic or sorcery, like your abilities or Howl's. I'm like the bloke who fixes a complex carriage."

Sophie smiled back at him, looking Darren straight in the eye as she did with Howl. "You must show me one of these things."

A silence lingered between them for a moment as each thought upon what the other was thinking. Darren peered at Sophie's face, causing her cheeks to escalate in colour, opening his mouth, her own mouth parted,

"You've got blue on your cheek."

Sophie turned red and curved her face down, hands looking for the spot. Darren laughed.

"No, right there." He touched his hand to her cheekbone, almost brushing her jaw line, grin was fading to a slower emotion as he looked at the pretty redhead.

"Do you think Howl'd let me take you home?"

Sophie's eyes flashed, "It doesn't matter what he says, I can go if I want. That man can't have everybody under his thumb!"

Darren gave a bemused chortle, "So he's the same here as he was at home?"

"He loves to toy with you, and tease, and hide the dishes under his bed so he can have dinner when _he_ wants it, and the bathroom…don't get me started on the bloody mess of colour that place is! When I accidentally turned his hair pink, he—what?"

Darren's face had become an incandescent explosion of mirth, laughter loud and painful. When he had calmed down slightly, he asked, "You turned his hair pink?"

Sophie looked at him questioningly, "Yes, I'd shook up one of his hair potions while I was cleaning."

Darren shook his head, "I was sixteen when I switched out his blonde dye for a permanent pink colour. He couldn't get it out, no matter what he tried, and wore a beanie on his head all through that summer."

They both laughed.

"There, all better." Sophie said triumphantly to Darren, holding the garment to him. She whispered a few words and any visible stitching vanished to the eye. Darren smiled delightfully.

"Thanks! I never expected this to be wearable again."

"Well, all it needed was some decent stitches and you're good to go."

Darren put the jacket back on and swivelled the arm.

"The jacket will be more handsome and comfortable." Sophie said; and surely, Darren could feel the cosiness of the coat more thoroughly than ever. Sophie received the other benefit made to the jacket. Darren nodded, pointing to her.

"You did that magic thing again."

"Yes," she smiled, "it's getting to be fun, but I'm getting to be a little too well known because of Howl. I don't want to be Wizard Pendragon's witch!" she scowled and Darren chuckled.

"You aren't, are you?"

"What?"

"Howl's." Darren looked to Sophie imploringly. She shook her head.

"No. Happily ever after does not imply settle down with the only other man in sight and have his children; it means there's no more evil witches trying to turn you into a rheumatic old woman and your companions into dust."

"So he'll let you come?"

"We don't have to ask Howl; I won't be ordered around be a pompous, arrogant wizard, and I am _not_ his. If you want to take me to Wales, Howl can't object."

Darren frowned, fearing the girl that sat beside him, wondering exactly what can of worms he was opening. Then he thought of how else a girl like Sophie would have survived in his brother's house if she was any different.

"Alright," he pecked her cheek, "Whenever you're ready, I can show you exactly what I do for a living." Sophie was speechless, which made Darren's heart burn a little too happily within his chest. "But," Darren said, "I'm your guest right now, and I'd like to learn about exactly what you and Howl do. I'd also like to visit with my brother before I take away his cleaning lady; he needs time to make arrangements."

"How can you be related to him?" Sophie said wonderingly, "You are so…how old are you?"

"Nineteen. I'm nine years younger."

Sophie did a double take, "How are you my age and Howl is the older one!" She laughed, "You're family is so youthful!"

"This is coming from a girl who's been in an old woman's body for months."

Sophie grinned, "Alright. Then I'd better show you the rest of the house, then."


	3. Chapter 3

Sophie introduced Darren to the house; although it was a castle it remained much smaller inside than the grand, moving outside. He was introduced to the flower shop (he sneezed), the bathrooms (he sneezed again), kitchen (they passed a huffy Howl wordlessly), and bedrooms. When they came to the closed door of Howl's room Sophie said to avoid entering.

"Why would I do that?" he asked. Sophie was slow to reply.

"Hasn't Howl ever harassed you about bothering his things?"

Darren paused and looked at Sophie questioningly, "Do you have siblings?"

"Yes."

"Did they ever leave your room alone?"

Sophie paused, "Good point." And she opened the door wide, "Here's Howl's room!" Sophie gave a wide sweep with her hand, then glanced at Darren, "I'd prefer you acquaint yourself with his hair dye later as to avoid suspicion."

Darren smiled, "Why would I ever get you into trouble?" she shook her head.

"I'm pretty sure you already have." Sophie chuckled as she thought of Howl's expression, "It's always so fun to make him angry. It's been…different…without Michael."

"Michael?"

"Howl's assistant. He moved into a house in Market Chipping with my sister after the wedding."

Darren beamed, "Congratulations!"

"Thank you."

"Who caught the bouquet?"

"Excuse me?"

Darren scratched his head, "Does the bride throw the bouquet at the end of the wedding here?"

Sophie's eyes widened, "No, what does that mean?"

"It's a superstition. The person who catches the bouquet is the next to get married."

Sophie snorted, "How ridiculous."

Darren raised his eyebrows, "You were turned into a ninety year old woman and you call flower-throwing superstitions ridiculous?"

She rolled her eyes, "No, I'd say getting turned into a crone was not quite as ridiculous as you and your world's very odd jackets." She picked at Darren's newly-stitched coat as she closed the door to Howl's messy room.

Darren shrugged, "You're the one who charmed it to make it look better."

She admired her handiwork, "_I _ think I did well." And she proceeded up the stairs to the last floor. Darren followed curiously.

"And this is Michael's old room." Though not particularly large, it was an improvement on the previous quarters before the addition of a new, bigger house in Kingsbury, "Some of Michael's things are here, but it will be the guest room once he's moved his things, and it's your room for your stay. It has one of the best views in the house."

Darren looked at the happy witch's ease as she navigated about a house that Sophie had so claimed with her pride. He noted how she wiped the layer of dust from the dresser top coolly. Darren's smile dimmed.

"Would Howl take it wrong?"

Sophie turned to her companion, "Take what wrong?"

Darren gave a nervous laugh, "If you left with me for a little."

Sophie pondered for a moment as she moved from the dresser, "I don't really care if he takes it wrong;" she shook her head at the stairs leading down, "bugger him if he does!" Sophie raised her chin, Darren bowed his head, his question again arose more anger than expected. Sophie moved quickly to the sheets of the bed, "We made him get used to Michael moving away for good; why should this be any different?" she flicked at the unused duvet angrily, "He was so fussy over his assistant leaving, I think I deserve some time away from his sulkiness! He deserves not to get his questions answered for once!"

Darren felt himself sucked towards her like a vacuum, dust glittering between them in the light streaming in from the window, "What exactly are you suggesting?"

"I say we don't explain anything to him; let Howl think what he wants. Let his own mind lead to whatever conclusion he likes!" she huffed, shaking the last of the dust free from the sheets.

Darren laughed, then coloured as he began to realize the full implications. "As tempting as that sounds, I wanted to know if it was suggestive of me to invite you according to the customs here." He looked at his feet sheepishly. Sophie was reaching for the pillows when she froze, and turned scarlet.

"Well…" she slowly took a pillow and Darren came to stop her.

"It is, isn't it?"

Sophie hesitated, Darren did not.

"I don't want to get you into any trouble with your family."

Sophie burst into laughter, head shaking with mirth, "If I cared about customs and propriety I wouldn't be a young witch living alone with an unmarried man. I believe the woman's handbook on etiquette would not approve of my arrangement with Howl or my unorthodox sorcery." Her white smile sparkled in the sunlight from the window, "My family would by happy if you took me away from the great Wizard Pendragon this instant."

Darren gave a mischievous grin, "So then, you're up to having a little fun with my brother?" he held out his arm; Sophie's eyes twinkled.

"But of course, kind sir."


	4. Chapter 4

Firstly, before I start this chapter, I have to say thanks for the reviews, and a special thanks to LiLMissDeadly for the review that got me off my butt to write the next chapter, and jblockk for a question that made me add a little to this chapter and another (oh yes...another chapter is sitting on my computer :o ). If all goes well, there should also be the next chapter up within the week. Thanks everybody for the questions and support, and feel free to ask questions, correct me, etc., I'll PM you back with a reply (or fix my mistake) the next time I'm online. Enjoy!

~O~

"Hey, Howl."

Darren came down the stairs next to Sophie, hand relinquishing itself from between her fingers. A little dollop of goo rained from the ceiling to the newly cleaned floors. Howl was chewing on something. Sophie identified it as the strange, floppy sticks of salted meat from Howl's world. Darren gave a wide smile, "Sophie gave me Michael's old room to sleep in."

Howl coughed on the wad of food in his mouth, "the room next to Sophie's?"

"That _is_ Michael's room."

Howl went red, food puffing his cheeks as he took another snap at the jerky stick, "Fantastic."

Sophie put her hands at her sides, "Where else was he going to sleep?"

"The broom cupboard."

"There's the brother I know and love!" Darren rolled his eyes and laughed, "What do you think, _Sophie_?" he bumped her at the hip. She blushed and put a hand to her mouth.

"Same old Howl." She winked at Darren and giggled.

"Did I just hear Sophie _giggle?"_ Calcifer swooped in from the chimney; grin wide on Calcifer's face. "Hello Sophie, Darren…gooseberry." Calcifer nodded at Howl, "I wanted to tell some people about the Wizard Jenkins' brother arriving," he cackled, "I've got a whole city and market running scared!"

"Calcifer, that wasn't nice." Sophie sighed and laughed. Darren looked a little less at ease. His eyes were wide and mouth agape, stooping to approximately Sophie's height.

"Sophie, what is that!"

Calcifer's face became whiter with perturbation. "_I_, little human, am a Fire Demon. Rawr." He puffed himself out a little and coughed out a little smoke. Darren stepped back and grabbed Sophie's arm. Howl unwrapped a new stick of jerky.

"_Really, _Calcifer."

"I can speak, y'know."

"It doesn't mean you have to go out of your way to scare him."

"He's from Howl's world. They need toughening up. Look at his pants! There's barely enough material to wrap around his buttocks!" everyone looked to the denim pants; Sophie nodded her head approvingly.

"I think it's better than those baggy things the men wear in Market Chipping." Darren went pink at the ears; Howl shoved the whole piece of jerky in his mouth and grabbed another one. Calcifer cackled. Darren cleared is throat.

"So you're visiting?"

"Kind of."

"Wait. How has Howl told you about me but not Calcifer?"

Howl nodded viciously "I did tell Darren." He attempted a grin, but found his mouth too full and swallowed the two lumps of jerky at either cheek. The result was another cough and a visible descent of at least two sticks worth of jerky down Howl's oesophagus

"It's one thing to hear about a fire demon and a whole other thing to see it."

Calcifer glowered to a deep orange, "Was that an insult?'

Darren shook his head vehemently, "No!"

"Calcifer!"

"Sorry, Sophie." Calcifer have Sophie a smug smile. "So Darren, How long are you staying?"

Darren cautiously raised back to his full height, "Nothing's set. I just came to visit. I had the impression I might be catching a wedding…"

"Oh! That would have been Martha and Michael's—my little sister and Howl's apprentice." piped up Sophie.

"Really…" Darren's voice trailed as his eyes went to Howl, whose chewing had slowed considerably at the shift in conversation, wide eyes locked on Darren. They looked away when Sophie continued.

"Yes! Howl didn't want Michael moving out of the house with his training not yet finished but Martha and Michael were so excited about getting married and starting a family they couldn't wait. They live close in Market Chipping so they can help with the shop and Michael can finish his training."

Darren nodded politely, then frowned, "Younger sister? But…you're nineteen…that means…"

"Martha's fifteen, I think." Sophie thought, "These last few months have thrown me off. I think I've forgotten half of the dates for things when I was a crone and never got them back…" she laughed. Darren wasn't so overjoyed.

"You mean to say your fifteen-year-old sister is married?" Sophie looked to Darren curiously.

"Yes, but…" then it dawned on her, Howl spoke first.

"People don't usually get married so young in our world." Howl said self-importantly. He swallowed the last of the jerky in his mouth, "Many don't get married at all. Like Jon Bon Jovi."

Darren leaned over to Sophie, "A famous singer. Howl over here thinks he looks like him."

"Is this singer handsome?"

"He is considered so, yes."

"Delusional."

Calcifer sniggered, Howl brandished another jerky stick, "Hey! You're supposed to be on my side!"

"About what? And I've seen that singer; he wears tighter pants than your brother."

"Calcifer!"

"What?"

Sophie patted Darren on the back, "Your pants look fine." Sophie concentrated not to look down again. "How about we go for a stroll in the city? That's more exciting than the Market."

He smiled, "Whatever you suggest."

Howl rolled his eyes.

Sophie began to walk forward, and halted in front of the couch littered with Jerky wrappers and one bloated wizard. "Are you coming, Howl?"

Howl took another bite of jerky, shifted, then said miserably, "Of course."

"Me too!"

Calcifer whizzed out the door and into the city of Kingsbury.


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry it's out a bit later than "the end of the week." I blame geek-gasm experience, A Very Potter Sequel, for my tardiness-I've been spending all my time either at my job or watching, quoting, singing, and reviewing the musical. No excuse, all the same...

Thanks for the reviews (I really do love them) and hope this can tide you guys over 'till the next chapter!

~O~

Kingsbury was as pleasant and prim as ever. The people stared at the odd group comprised of the Wizard Pendragon, his accompanying witch, a menacing fire demon and now Pendragon's foreign-looking brother. They were avoided at all costs. Sophie took Darren's hand. Howl pretended not to notice.

"Sophie?"

"Yes?"

"Is this Kingsbury?"

"Yes! This was where Howl learned to be a wizard."

"I can speak for myself, Sophie."

"Are you sure you should have eaten all that jerky, brother?"

Howl scowled, "I'm not the one showing off for Sophie." Howl turned the next corner. Sophie and Darren looked at one another for an answer and smiled before following the disgruntled wizard. Sophie jogged away from Darren to catch up with Howl.

"Howl!" she put a hand on his shoulder to slow him down, "Wait up." Howl froze at her touch and turned, "Where are you going?"

Howl sniffed "To purchase powdered leeches for a customer. We don't have any at the castle."

Sophie's playful mood soured, "You could have warned us before just assuming we'd follow you. Why so miserable today?"

Darren caught up, Howl's eyes flicked briefly to his younger brother, "I thought you could entertain my brother for a little while I go about my business." He said crisply.

Sophie clenched her jaw, face turning red, the freckles turning a darker shade of brown. "_Your_ business, Howl?" Her fists clenched, "When did this become simply _your _business?"

Darren backed away as Sophie's voice become quieter. Howl cringed, like he felt heat coming from the redhead. "W_e_ll," Darren's voice was an octave higher, placing a comforting hand on Sophie's shoulder from an awkward distance, "I think we should go find those leeches; doesn't that sound lovely?"

Sophie looked back at Darren; he winked, and a malicious smile spread over Sophie's face. "Yes, Darren," she backed towards him took Darren's arm, "that does sound lovely," and she stood and tiptoe, pecking him on the cheek. Howl's one eye became larger than the other, one pale eyebrow almost in his blonde hairline and the other burrowed in his eye socket. He wished he had brought some jerky.

Calcifer's mouth opened a little at the exchange, sniggering as Darren went a little pink as the pair walked on. The fire demon glanced at Howl, shoulders hunched to the point his neck hid beneath his collarbone. The clouds began darkening, the streets emptying. Calcifer coughed, spewing little bits of hot ash into the air. Howl jumped and the sky cleared. "C'mon Howl," Calcifer sighed, "it's time we get those leeches and catch up with the dubious duo."

Howl scowled and muttered something about wizards and hat shops as they picked up the pace to catch Sophie and Darren.

When the four reached the shop the streets had not altered in brightness or beauty, but rather in buyers. More varied in shape, colour, and size these customers were all there to buy strange items for magical purposes. They were more varied I temperament; some would approach Howl and Sophie in awe, others would glare at all of them suspiciously. One burly man asked Darren where he bought his pants. Sophie shook her head at Darren, placing a hand over his wrist. Sophie took over the conversation,

"You don't want to own these trousers." She cooed, voice conversational, "You are too old to be wearing a young man's clothing." Sophie tutted, then smiled, the man stopped stroking his black tangle of a beard, "You will not remember our faces once you turn your back, and believe you would find your fortune in the exotic creatures store two blocks down…" the man gave a confused look, frowned, turning from Darren, to Sophie, to Howl, then in the opposite direction of their destination. Calcifer cackled, Howl snorted, Darren stared at the Sophie in shock again.

"There." She nodded her head assuredly, smiling mischievously to the astonished Darren. "That's a new trick." Darren continued to stare.

"...You've...got—you just…Jedi mind-tricked that guy!" Howl burst out laughing, Sophie looked at Darren and Howl in confusion.

"What's that?"

"It's from a story back in Wales. A Jedi can control the weak-minded." Howl said between fits of laughter. Sophie glared at Howl.

"And could you tell me, _Wizard Pendragon_, why that is so funny?"

Howl struggled to raise himself up and snorted again with the effort, "I'm imagining you with their magic swords and cloaks…" Howl was doubled over again, Darren began to laugh at the image his brother had created.

Sophie stared confusedly between the two then up at Calcifer, "Do you understand this, Calcifer?"

Arms materialized beneath Calcifer's head for the effect of a shrug. "Sometimes I think they put something in the water in Wales. You've seen the nephew, all day in front of a box!" he guffawed. The brothers straightened.

"No one insults our nephew." Howl scowled, Darren nodded.

Sophie sighed, "Isn't it time we actually _get_ these powdered leeches, Howl?" and they walked into the small shop.

It was dusty and old in comparison to the brighter and gayer buildings that surrounded it. Its exterior was faded, peeling green and inside dust-grey. Darren looked at the oddly-shaped bottles and jars filled with strange things. He looked at a heart-shaped jar with what looked like a functioning heart in it as Sophie and Howl strode over to the clerk at the oak desk. The desk was located in the corner of the store closest to the entrance, a place that seemed even less habitable than the rest of the decrepit store. The clerk was so gray and pale he seemed covered in a layer of dust himself, faded white hair just a little too long to be freshly cut, hanging out of his face as he leaned back in a deep sleep, a resounding snore the only sign he was alive. Howl banged on the table, at his arrival, sending dust motes into the air and making Darren and the clerk jump.

Howl smirked, "I would like leech powder, please."

"Hello pretty girl." Sophie's nose wrinkled at the dust careening towards her with every word. Howl banged the table again and the clerk jumped, this time looking towards Howl.

"I am looking for powdered leech…"

Darren continued to look around the cramped, dirty shop. Bubbling colourful potions in dusty containers were everywhere; ever-watching eyes in jars lining an entire shelf with a sign underneath. It had an arrow pointing to a dull, rusty dagger with the phrase "shoplifers forfeit their right hand to this premesis by way of this knife" beside it. He hurried past the eyes when all of them began jump and roll in their glass encasement. There were hands, feet, tongues, plants, herbs, furs, fluids…everything a wizard like Howl would want pickled, dissected, dried and contained for enchantments.

Darren, in his eagerness to escape the sea of watchful, disembodied eyes, bumped into a small wicker basket. Darren caught the lip of it before its small, black contents fell to the ground.

"Ow!" he muffled with his other hand flying to his mouth as he felt a pinch from the baskets old wicker. Standing on one of three pedestals, the contents of the basket seemed a new addition to the store. Darren, carefully letting go of the basket, looked down at the curious items with wide eyes, kneeling down for a better look at the shiny capsules. Nothing special. Then he saw the side of the basket.

Where he had grabbed the basket was a clear outline of his hand, but there was also an empty, broken capsule stuck at the wicker's edge, impaled on one of the basket's weaves with a little red smear left behind too. The only pale pink fluid that remained was well squashed into the basket, eking out from the remnants of the capsule. Darren jumped back and looked to the hand that had held the side of the basket. It was gray with dust, but his palm was covered in a thick, sticky film with a puncture wound directly at its center.


	6. Chapter 6

Having no idea what it was Darren wiped the viscous fluid on his jeans rapidly, but he could feel the sting around the wound. He walked through the halls swiftly to Sophie, grabbed her arm and exited the shop with her in tow. Howl choked on the flurry of dust as the old clerk looked from Howl, to the retreating forms, to Howl.

"Newlyweds?"

"Darren, what are you—" he held his hand to her face. Sophie could smell it as she brought the wound closer with her free hand. "Oh no, no, no, no…"

"What, what is it? Is it dangerous? Poisonous? Am I going to die? Turn into a donkey?" Darren waited anxiously for a reply

She frowned for a little longer, until she could no longer contain her smile. She lowered his hand, "it's soap."

He grinned in relief after a moment, "That wasn't very nice."

She laughed, "I couldn't resist…" then she remembered the weight of his hand she held and the grip on her arm. Her smile faltered as they hastily let go. This was, of course, not before Howl entered the conversation,

"What was that all about?" he asked irritably. Sophie gave a bright smile,

"Your brother was afraid an exploded capsule of soap would put him in intractable danger." Howl laughed.

"Meghan will be hearing about this." Darren scowled.

"If you had just introduced me sooner…" then he remembered, "By the way, Sophie and I were planning on taking a trip to Wales so I can acquaint her with where we grew up." Howl stiffened.

"Why?"

"Well, Darren made it seem so interesting, much better than you made it sound, Howl."

"Did you run this by mum and dad?"

Sophie frowned, "Do men stay with their parents until they are married?"

The brothers laughed, "No, Sophie. People often don't marry at all."

"Yes, that part you told me." She snorted, "Maybe I'll move to Wales permanently like John Bon Jovi" she mused.

"I'm sure we could work something out." Darren's eyes twinkled, Howl scowled as Sophie blushed. Just when Howl was going to correct Sophie and Darren on the residence of Bon Jovi, he sniffed,

"What's that smell?"

"That soap Darren got on his hand."

"Those black capsules?" They look to Darren.

"Yeah..."

Howl's eyes widened and pushed Sophie out of the way to inspect Darren's hand, "Let me see that!" and surely enough, he saw the black sheen around the wound. "Darren we've got to get you back t o the castle: now."

"But…Calcifer—"

"Calcifer'll be fine, Sophie. You need to come too."

"Howl, it's just—"

"It was as harmless as soap right until the moment you touched it!" Sophie halted and looked down at her hand. There was no difference, but she ran after them.

"Why don't I know about this?"

"Because you're always too prudish to learn about love spells." Another silence as they hurried along the streets of Kingsbury, "There's no going to Wales any time soon for either of you unless both of you are ready for a very long trip."

"What do you mean?"

"Darren didn't just break a soap bubble. Where'd you hurt yourself?"

"It was the basket." Darren said sheepishly. They reached the castle front and quickly entered when Calcifer approached.

"Hello fellow Jenkinses and Hatter. May I ask what has happened this lovely day to turn your faces so sour?"

"Darren. Planter's wart." Howl answered as they entered the castle, Calcifer scoffed,

"That's no problem, just make sure he doesn't touch a pretty girl's—" Calcifer's eyes turned to Sophie, "Never mind."

"So I'm assuming this isn't the regular plantar—"

"Unrelated!" Howl began furiously looking through his pantry of supplies and potions.

"Weren't we just at—"

"You two don't need a potion," Howl emerged from his pantry brandishing a bottle of pink fluid, "I do," he gulped it down,

"Howl, how is this helping us?"

"My clever brother just gave you the creeping psychological spell of passion." Howl stomped over to Sophie, "You are not going to be yourself in a few minutes if I don't do this."

"Do what?"

Howl blew out a purple vapour in Sophie and Darren's direction. The air became perfumed and heavy like a hot summer day, "That'll hold it off for a while."

"Hold off what?" Sophie seethed, Howl glared back at her.

"Will you ever just trust me?"

"Planter's wart is from the seed you broke, hence the name." came Calcifer's exasperated voice, "Once the buyer injects the fluid from the seed into their blood they become infected."

Howl jumped in so Calcifer could not steal all of his limelight, "The next person to touch them will slowly feel herself becoming more and more connected to them, not knowing it's a drug instead of their own emotions. It's a strong psychological spell that often goes unnoticed due to its passive capabilities. "

"Who would use such a stupid spell?" Sophie scowled.

"Stupid people not snobbish enough to ignore love potions." Said Howl

"Shy people." Said Darren

"People who like to break hearts." cackled Calcifer. Howl glared.

"I never used the seed!"

"I never said you did."

Sophie sighed, "So, the effects will wear off in time. We're alright then?"

Howl turned a shade redder and glared at Darren, "There's side effects."

Sophie, in turn, glared at Howl, "What sort of side effects?"

"Physical side effects. Don't touch each other or else you'll make it worse, and definitely don't travel .

"What do you—"

"Just don't do it!" Howl rushed about the castle collecting ingredients and parchment as he went, "Calcifer! Keep an eye on them while I'm gone!" Howl shoved his armful of items into a small leather bag. Sophie glared, pushing past Darren,

"Where are you going?"

"To get Michael; I need an assistant at times like these."

"Not to mention the Sulivans are always visiting." Interjected Calcifer.

"That too."

"Is it really that hard to break?" asked Sophie.

"I've never had to deal with this one." He scratched his head then smoothed his hair, "from what I know, it's complicated."

"How?"

"What Howl's trying now to say is that once somebody's been given Planter's Wart the two infected are super-dosed and married before any of the effects even start to wear off."

"How long are we talking?"

"Months. Years."

"Calcifer!"

"What? It's not like they weren't being all gooey eyed before. And maybe these two isn't such a bad—"

"Calcifer!"

'Why not just separate us?" Sophie felt an odd pang at the idea.

"No, not good either. No travel for either of you."

Calcifer sniggered, "I'll watch and make sure these two crazy kids don't get too excited while you fetch Sulivans and Michael."

Martha had recently changed her last name. She sighed delightedly at the little cottage in Market Chipping and the wedding pictures that adorned the small mantle of the fireplace, the names "Martha and Michael Fisher" engraved in curly script on the silver frame. She raced over to the cleaning cabinet, plucked the dust feather from its perch and carefully removed any speck of dirt from the spotless living area. Martha's smile could not be contained. She spun in the middle of the room in sheer ecstasy and joy. Married! To a young and handsome wizard-in-training! She twirled into the kitchen, spotless with its polished wooden furniture in such order and new smell. She breathed in the flowers, nodding their blooms in happy response to the sunny weather and warm breeze, all sitting at the windowsill pot. Martha was about to depart when she jerked back to the farthest corner of the counter, smile turning into a determined line.

Crumbs.

Martha whipped out a rag cloth from the cleaning closet, returning the feather duster to its proper place. She swept the pile into her fingers and whisked them into the dustbin. She looked proudly back to her counter, but was halted once again. One crumb had mashed itself into the counter. So, Martha began to scrub, dampening the cloth, rubbing again, and scratching with her nail…

There was a knock.

"Come in." Martha said loudly, now frantic to remove the ugly mark before her guest entered; almost there…

"Hello Martha."

"Gah!" all the ladylike, pertinent squeaks of Market chipping would not equate to the yelp that escaped Martha's mouth. "Wizard Jenkins!"

His smile would have been a brilliant white, but today, he gave a grimace, "No need to shout."

Martha regained composure, hiding the rag underneath the sink as the crisis of a dirty kitchen was avoided, save for the raggety evidence of its hasty clean-up. The man looked miserable. "What are you doing in my house?"

"Yours and Michael's, actually."

"Yes." Martha glared, "husbands and wives do tend to live together."

Howl, taken aback by Sophie's scowl on another woman's face, took a less straightforward approach. "How was the wedding?" he prayed she didn't remember...

"Wonderful. You might remember how you explained to half of the wedding party how parents in your world would disapprove of such a young marriage."

She did remember. "Well then…"

Martha sighed, "Spit it out already; if you were here to see Michael you would have come when he wasn't visiting his mother, or if you didn't know he was visiting his mother, you still would have barged in here with your muddy feet…" Howl looked to his comparably clean outdoor boots "…and ordered that he come at once. What have you gotten Sophie into this time?"

"I've told you before, the Witch cursed her because Sophie's genuinely…" he looked at Martha's disapproving face and sighed, "I'm here because my brother and she…well…Darren seems to have…"

Martha's eyes went wide, "What?" she scurried about, looking in drawers filled with old parchment and odour-eaters. "What has your brother done to her? Is she okay? Did he curse her to…"

"No you silly girl!" Howl shouted, "Darren…fancies Sophie and she seems to…well…"

Martha dropped the parchment in her hands, "Sophie's in love with your brother?" Martha's smile brightened her face once more, "She's finally settling down?"

Howl glared at Martha, "It would seem so."

"Oh that's wonderful!" Martha exclaimed, beginning to assemble Sophie's wedding in her mind, rushing about the room looking for ink to write them down until… "Are you alright, Howl?"

"No." Howl began pacing, "You see, Martha, things are different in my world. When a man fancies a woman…"

"Wait. Stop." Martha closed her eyes as she looked down from this man who has become like an obnoxious in-law. "I know more about that sort of thing than you, Jenkins; I'm married, and I am _not_ discussing this with you. You've fancied my sister for heaven-only-knows for how long and I do _not_ want to be hearing about the wonders of marriage from the Wizard Jenkins."

Howl turned an unearthly shade of purple (Martha could swear his pale hair even turned a little pink), "No; what I'm saying is in my world marriage does not usually occur until after…" his face was puce with embarrassment. Martha's was white.

"Are you saying.—"

"Yes!"

"Oh my goodness! Sophie!" she covered her mouth. After a pause for thought the hand came from her mouth to pint accusingly at Howl, eyes narrowing. "Why would you introduce my sister to your brother? It's bad enough she is sill your cleaning lady—"

"Business partner."

"Don't interrupt me, Jenkins! You may just be the cause of my sister's loss of virtue if we don't get those two far away from one another. Can't you just send him back to your world?"

"I can't. They've gotten themselves into a bit of trouble."

"You mean _you've_ gotten our innocent siblings into a bit of trouble." She poked him with her index finger.

"We were at the apothecary's, and Darren accidentally Planted himself and Sophie."

Martha's yes were wide, face turning redder and redder, "I don't speak wizard," she snarled, "what do you mean by 'planted'?"

"Darren's essentially accidentally given him and Sophie a love potion. People usually use Planter's seed to increase attraction gradually when first getting to know someone or when a marriage is beginning to feel a little less..passionate…That's why I'm worried. "

"It'll be good if they get married, then, I don't see—oh!" then she looked up at Howl, her own realization dawning. Howl's face turned a shade darker "You're not worried about Sophie being too passionate as it is, or whether or not your brother will marry her. You just want—"

"Honey!"

"Michael!" Martha squealed as she raced to the front of the house. Michael had gained a few inches since Howl and his apprentice's last meeting, his face with sharper lines of approaching maturity. He was all smiles as he looked down at the small figure he held lovingly in his arms. Martha bounced about excitedly,

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"Sophie's getting married!"

"Married?" came a voice from outside the door. Lettie Sulivan enterd through the door with her usual grace and beauty, "Don't tell me she's getting married to that—Howl! How nice to see you." She exposed her teeth in a grin, "How is our sister?"

"Currently suffering from Planter's Wart."

"Planters?" came a surprised voice from outside. Ben Sulivan bustled into the crowded hallway, "I wouldn't think you used magic to seduce women, Jenkins."

"I didn't!" he was becoming more and more testy, "My little brother accidentally—"

"I doubt there'd be any accident in such an enchantment."

"He's from my world, and Sophie is too snobbish to look at the love section of books."

They all laughed in agreement. Sulivan continued, "I'm assuming you don't often come across those who can recognize the symptoms, either. Are you here for advice?"

Howl nodded, "I only know of one cure to Planters. Do you know of anything more concrete?"

Sulivan laughed, Lettie laughed along with her husband and continued his line of thought, "Well _I _ was never above the love section: there is only one way to remove the effects of Planters before it has run its course."

"Is it really—"

"Yes." They chorused.


	7. Chapter 7

Calcifer examined Sophie and Darren surreptitiously upon the exit of the wizard Jenkins. Darren folded his arms across his chest with his sandy eyebrows scrunched together ponderously. Sophie slouched on the brown loveseat next to Darren.

"Howl doesn't really expect us to stay here, does he?" her foot jiggled as she sat cross-legged, looking to the old clock ticking away the minutes she could be using productively. Why is she stuck sitting and waiting?

Darren looked nervously from his impatient companion to the demon's sly demeanor. Calcifer winked in response.

"Don't trust me, Darren Jenkins?"

Darren shifted and laughed uneasily, "No offense, but all of this…magic is a bit much to take in sometimes."

Calcifer shook his head, "You know you're smarter than that."

Sophie recognized the smouldering glow in Calcifer's eyes, "What do you mean, Calcifer?"

"Ah, Sophie, I was never just an appliance to move castles: I'm a fire demon, and there is a great deal you don't know about what I can do. You should take advantage of this situation to get what you want, and if you won't help yourself, I'll help you."

Sophie and Darren looked at one another then back to Calcifer, "What?"

"What?"

Calcifer breathed out a smoke that enveloped the pair. They coughed and choked, leaving behind a black and grey residue on the floors and walls of the castle. Sophie's last thoughts as she fell asleep in the heavy air...was she would have to clean up the all over again.


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry about the long break! Thank you for the reviews; always appreciated. Without further ado...

~O~

Howl and the Sulivans sat around Martha and Michael's fireplace with their tea. Howl was on the red chair facing the matching the red couch the Sulivans occupied with a mahogany table in between. Lettie was glaring at Howl.

"How did you do it?"

"What?"

"Get my practical, no-nonsense sister involved in another of your hair-brained schemes with no one less than your brother!"

"You've never met my brother!"

"If he's anything like you…"

"He isn't!"

"Lettie…"

"No, Ben," she raised a finger at her husband, "I am not letting this wizard get off scot-free yet again for putting Sophie in danger!"

"Neither one is my fault!"

"Why didn't you keep a closer eye on your magically handicapped brother in an _apothecary shop_!"

"I was busy."

"Too busy for your own brother?"

"He's nineteen! I thought I could leave him alone for a few minutes!"

"Well those few minutes may have cost us all Sophie."

"What does that mean? How will _you_ lose Sophie?"

"Your brother lives in _Wales_. Not Market Chipping. Not Kingsbury. _Wales_! Do you really think they're going to cart their lives back and forth between two worlds? They won't be some slithery, single wizard who has no real home!"

Howl pouted, "I have a home..."

A thundering descended from the second floor.

"Got it!" Michael said as he and Martha raced down the stairs, brandishing a piece of parchment, "We don't want to miss this!"

"What?"

"We want to sing along too!"

Ben Sulivan began the rhyme, the only one not seemingly deliciously rejuvenated by the experience, "To cure oneself o' false loves seed, one must discover this:"

"There are many ways to seize the day of true loves very first kiss!" They all gleefully sang, "Only is love so justly true if burdened by labour and alarm, for then one sees what truly be beyond false love's own charm."

Howl could not hold back any longer: he frowned in a manner mirroring his former cleaning lady, a line forming between his eyebrows that he _knew_ would haunt him in a few years…"Isn't there _anything_ else I can do other than hunting for Sophie's true love?"

They all stared at him for a moment in disbelief. Lettie rolled her eyes, looking to each of her companions in exasperation, "_Really_ Howl! When are you going to face—"

"That this will be a long and perilous journey," Martha interrupted gravely. Everyone turned to Martha in surprise. She rose to refill the Sulivans' teacups and winked. She gave Michael a surreptitious look, "Isn't it obvious? You need to find Prince Justin and _demand_ he come to his love's aid at once! You saw how they bonded when she assisted him in his time of need!"

"As a man lacking in numerous faculties," Lettie added.

All Howl's companions took a sip of tea to hide their mirth. Howl looked horrified.

"Justin? But he's—"

"Currently on a quest in dragon territory? Yes."

"But—but—I didn't even see—"

"—That they were falling in love? Of course you didn't! You were too busy destroying the witch to even give Sophie and her fellow a second thought!"

"But—but—scarecrow—Ben-"

Ben gave no assistance, "It was quite awkward having half of your body experience that..."

Howl's eyes were wide as he stared about Sophie's family, then lowered his head.

That was when Martha remembered what Sophie had told her of what happens when Howl becomes depressed, "But Howl don't—oh, damn you, Jenkins!"

Howl sat in his chair, a gob of goo plopping into his tea and splattering over table and guests alike. It was only a trickle, coming from his head, sticking in his hair and leaking on to the couch. But he was certainly holding back; the effort showing as his appearance seemed to dull, hair turning an indistinguishable brown, but eyes retaining a manic panic as he fidgeted in his seat.

He rose abruptly with a squelch, "I've got to get Justin! He's Sophie's only hope or she'll be a mechanic's wife by the end of the week!"

There was a gasp from Lettie, "Not a mechanic's wife!"

Howl's smile had a frenzied brilliance to it as he exited the house, "Thank you Martha!" and kissed her full on the mouth.

_Squelch, squelch, __squelch, __squelch, __squelch, __squelch._ Howl left the house. Everyone sat in silence for a moment as they absorbed what had just happened. Michael took in a breath and paused as he thought of what to say.

"Is that how you expected that to end, honey?"

She wiped disgustedly at her gooey lips, "More or less."

"I think this will be good for him," intoned Ben, "A good quest after teatime always clears the airways,"

"And gets you good and married." Added Lettie.

"Of course."

"Am I the only one who isn't sure about this scheme?" Michael expostulated.

"Mmhmmm." The three nodded and sipped their tea as Michael looked about worriedly.


	9. Chapter 9

This chapter's a little naughty (don't go overboard with that assessment-no crazy monkey-sex or anything...), so please don't be too surprised with a little rated T humour. Still fluffy as always!

~0~

Sophie did not know where she was.

Groggily, she rose her head from the soft surface, propping herself up with her elbows. Her blurry eyes adjusted to the bright light streaming in from her right, blinking as she examined the dark couch she was lain upon, looking to one brown corduroy arm and feeling the square pillows beneath her. There was chatter coming from the shelving in front of her, covered haphazardly with knickknacks and a box in the center where the chatter originated from. She jumped when she saw the people inside, knowing there was only one place that had such containers-

"Mrow."

Sophie looked down and immediately pulled her head back; below her was the ugliest shorthaired cat she had ever seen. A hand from behind Sophie brushed her arm and pet the cat, shocking her skin. Sophie yelped and tore away from her propped-up position, running towards the shelves. When she turned around she let out a breath of air.

"Darren! Don't do that ever again!"

"Sorry, I thought you could see me." His big, blue eyes were a little sad. Sophie guiltily shoved her straying hair behind her ears. She bit her lip as she took in her surroundings: Darren sat on the loveseat she had just vacated, with a small table beside it. The table held a lamp and a strange, shiny item with a long, swirling chord extending downwards in a U shape. Below the couch was a black cat flecked orange with a flat face and large, hooked ears; Sophie fought back the urge to shudder. The walls were patterned with odd little flowers Sophie had never seen before. Beyond the couch was a doorway to a kitchen, and two other doors to her left and right past the couch; one was to outside, the other was indiscernible from her position.

"Do you know where we are?"

"My house." He replied with barely a glance around the room, "How did the deamon do it?" he asked in amazement; Sophie shrugged.

"I've never seen Calcifer do that; he likes to keep us on our toes."

"Why did he send us back here?"

"Away from Howl and the cure to our curse? I don't know."

"What good does that do for you? I doesn't help you make a clearer judgement."

"Clearer judgement?" Darren averted his eyes. Sophie put her hands on her hips at the distressing situation and a sudden yearning for the colour blue.

"I don't want to be in distress." she mused out loud.

"What?"

Sophie looked to him sternly, lips forming a thin line. She strode across the room, "We can't sit around all day and wait for Howl to help us get out of Wales, and Calcifer certainly won't be helping us—"

"Howl said not to travel." He interjected.

"Calcifer did it." She returned.

"We still did the travelling." He continued, "Would the deamon do something… evil?" She stopped for a moment.

"No;" She began pacing again, "I wouldn't put it past Howl to add a false aggravator to our curse just to make his job easier." Sophie laughed with a bark.

"I wouldn't either; but I still think we should try to stay put. Maybe Calcifer sent us here to help with the effects. Can magic exist in Wales?" Sophie looked to him with a smile,

"So Calcifer's not evil anymore?"

Darren shrugged, causing the springs to creak on the small sofa, "Not if you say he isn't."

Sophie was caught off guard by such an easy fight. She looked at him slowly, "You really aren't your brother, are you?"

"Nope…do you know about magic here in Wales?"

"Ms. Angorian seemed to get on just fine."

"Hmm," he nodded, "and Ben…but this is a spell; will this be different?"

"How should I know?"

"You're a witch," he said with a smile, brandishing his coat.

"A witch who knows nothing about love!"

"What about talking a magic carpet into sending us back to Ingary?"

"Not that simple."

"You don't need to! I've seen you talk my leather jacket back together why not chat us into the next dimension by magic carpet, or get this Planter-seed thing off by you directly?"

"It's not that easy," she sighed, "I don't know the disease, so I can't treat it."

"What about Megan?"

"On magic or love?"

He made a face "I've never talked to Megan about love, other than that one time she explained the meaning of sausage in a bun at Aunt Nora's cookout."

"So she might be able to get us back!" He nodded in agreement.

"It's how I got to Ingary, but she had it worked out with Calcifer."

Sophie sighed, "It's worth a try."

Darren checked his watch, "She should be visiting soon to feed Stan."

"Stan?"

"My cat." Sophie looked back at the flat-faced creature giving her a yellow-eyed stare.

"I would think of you as a dog person." She said absently, trying not to make a face back at Stan.

Darren shrugged, "You know people; they want a kitten but not a cat. I found Stan de-clawed in a ditch with an open carrier beside him with some food."

"That's awful."

"It's normal."

"What made you stop?"

"I was helping someone with their engine nearby."

Sophie's fought back the urge to gape; it came out with her jaw angled slightly to one side, teeth shut as she stared at Darren. He looked around awkwardly, "What?"

"You picked up a stray cat while helping a stranger with their engine."

"I never said she was a stranger!" he grinned.

"Was she?"

He shrugged, "Yes."

"I bet she appreciated meeting _you_." He laughed, missing Sophie's compliment, "It was a saintly day for me; I don't always go around collecting kittens or I'd be as bad as Aunt Gemma."

"Why hasn't Howl told me about any of these aunts?"

"It's better that we keep the family meetings for you to Howl, me and Megan." Darren checked his watch, "She should be here in a half an hour."

"Perfect! We can minimize movement, get ourselves out of here, and," She gave a stunning grin, "in the meantime you can show me how these boxes work." He smiled back.

"Will do."

She looked back to the television, letting out a sigh of relief as she began to sit on the couch. Sophie jumped right back off, "Whatwasthat?"

They froze in surprise at the sudden shock they had felt at their skin, less electric but no less of a rippling surge. When they looked to their shoulders—the place where they had touched—they each plucked a little rosebud from their bodies. Each dropped to the ground without ceremony as Sophie looked back to Darren. She tugged her skirt down anxiously.

"That's not going to help anything." He remarked, picking out the leaves still embedded in his shoulder.

"Flowers! Damn Calcifer!" she shouted, stomping about the room.

"Sophie…"

"I will not stand idly by as Howl _attempts_ to find an antidote that may not exist while his only brother and—and—_business partner_ are turned into trees!"

"Sophie," Darren indicated quietly to her feet as she slowed from her fit of anger. All along the path of her tirade were a trail of blooming flowers and buds, each sprouting between floorboards and appliances. One white flower had bloomed on the table lamp; it's green petals spreading as though enjoying a new day's dew. Sophie gaped, and then breathed it in with a choke.

"What's that smell?"

"I'm guessing the flowers." Darren laughed. Sophie took another breath, and found she laughing too. They looked around the room absently, laughing at their predicament. As their laughter-but not the haze circling their heads-faded, a niggling question occurred to Sophiie.

"Darren?"

"Yes?"

"What _is_ a sausage in a bun?"


End file.
